The Case for a Florist Who Turns Down Weddings
By Morgan Burroughs — Creative Director
I know, this sounds harsh. But hear me out—having the right florist is an art in matchmaking. Here’s what we mean: sometimes the best thing someone can do for you is say no. A lot of times we need someone to reel us in and say ‘hey friend, this can work if ______ _______ ______, but if you are unwilling to look past ______, then we might need to go in a different direction.’ This can be a hard conversation to have and can often be disappointing. Sometimes your dreams are too big for your budget. Or maybe you’re too afraid to say you don’t like something so you end up settling and/or ghost us because you can’t handle confrontation (that actually happened…twice). So let’s talk through what it looks like when we lovingly say no. (Because it is out of wanting the best for you!)
The Fit Factors that Matter
Lots of factors go into saying yes to a booking and they often start with familiar reasons such as:
Is the date available
Have we hit our capacity for that weekend already
Do we have enough man power for that weekend
Is the venue too far away
Reasons such as these are easy to understand. We all agree there’s not much you can do about it if the answer is no to any one of these questions.
Let’s take a look at what we do look for in a wedding:
A real world budget
A down to earth but confident bride
Willing to compromise/open to ideas
Similar styles and aesthetic to our work
A reasonable timeline
Manageable complexity of work
Bride has done her research
These things are often found in every one of our weddings! Some of these reasons may seem picky to an outsider but trust me, they will make sense.
When We Say No (With Care)
Now the nitty gritty is here, so let’s dive in.
Imagine with me a scenario in which the bride has such an expansive pinterest board that it takes nearly three years to reach the end of, and each picture in regards to florals would cost at least a $50,000 budget. As a florist who’s going to be brutally honest with you about how much things cost, this is a hard hitting blow to someone’s dream. The average budget for florals in our area is $2k-$8k. And without compromise on vision, it’s hard to land the plane and have our client sign the contract. We always want to be respectful of budget and work with what you have! But sometimes, what we can do with what you have isn’t something you like. So we try another option, another idea, and continue to search until we find something you love in your price range. It takes time, we want you to love what you end up with! But if a bride doesn’t understand why we can’t make flowers multiply or stretch the budget an extra $5k that she doesn’t have, then it brings us to a hard conversation of expectations vs reality. With love and care, we explain the facts of the situation. There’s no shame in having a smaller budget! But we can’t make it a bigger package without more money. And unfortunately, this often rubs the wrong way, and the disappointment is too much. It’s at that point that we have to draw the line and say “If you would like to move forward, we can continue with what works! But if this isn’t working for you, we understand if you want to go in a different direction for florals.”
Another scenario is often where the bride can’t quite understand the idea/concept of a thing, not the exact photo of the thing. This gets complicated because we can’t guarantee specific flowers, weather, or how you interpret something. So after explaining gently that we aren’t going to make the exact inspiration photo (because it’s an inspiration, not a copy), and the bride is still set on it, then we have to manage expectations. Some instances have been where the bride has said, if I can’t have this one specific thing, then I will go somewhere that does. And we totally understand! But if the question was why we aren’t willing to give you hydrangeas in direct sun in August, and we explain they will melt like butter…it isn’t on us to manage your reaction. We can only provide alternatives. And if you go somewhere else and get those hydrangeas in August outside, they cannot guarantee they will survive. We care about how your photos will look, about what your guests would say seeing dead flowers, or how you would feel when you saw what you desperately wanted is falling apart. Therefore, we will not yes-man you. And we genuinely believe its for the better! We are truly looking out for you. That’s our heart behind it.
The bottom line is we often say no when a bride simply doesn’t trust us. That’s what it all boils down to, and that’s a hard thing to control. When a bride has been dreaming about this day ever since she was a kid, it’s difficult to bring out the specifics of all she imagined. If she is fixed on deciding every flower, every candle, and every placement of a thing involved, that bride often doesn’t trust us to do our job. We know it’s hard to let go of control — its easier when you know every step of the way. But knowing every step in our behind the scenes process or deciding the stem count in each bouquet is not something you need to be a part of. We say this with love: let us do our job. You have so many other things to worry about, let us take this off your hands. We learned a long time ago that the jobs we get are meant for us and what we don’t, we weren’t meant to have.
When Other Florists are a Better Fit
There are times when we have to turn down work because of schedule conflicts. And there are times when we refer you to someone else that can best suit your needs. It’s never personal, its practical. When we know we can’t give you what you want, there are always other options. We have been in this business for a long time, we know who we do it with and what they do well. If we think we aren’t aligned for your wedding, we will point you in a good direction!
What this Means for the Couples We Say Yes to
When you trust us with your wedding, you trust our 35 years of experience. We’ve seen some crazy things regarding weddings, therefore, we know how to handle it. So when you use us for your wedding, you get someone on your side. You get a team who is devoted to making your wedding as seamless as possible. Weddings we say yes to are ones we are built to serve well. Our bread and butter you might say. We aren’t stretched thin because we aren’t saying yes to every wedding walking through our door. You get our careful attention to detail and our genuine joy as we assure you through each milestone in our process. We care for our brides so well that most of our staff are actually previous brides we had in the past! Their experience with us was unlike any other vendor and we take that seriously. We are devoted to our craft and our hospitality.
Curious if We're the Right Fit? Let's Find Out.
We are professionals. We want to help you understand that we don’t do this all willy nilly and hope for the best. You can trust us fully to provide what we have planned together. Our design meetings are about what you want for details and the overall concept. There is value in the details and the big picture. And it’s up to you whether or not you can trust us with that. We want to be a part of your story!